I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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