we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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