hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
