i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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