we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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