I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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