Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
