I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
