She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
