She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
True strength comes from lack of pants
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
