You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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