I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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