Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
