Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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