Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
your room smells of hookers.
And success
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
