if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
