Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
