Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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