I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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