I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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