he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
