quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
