your room smells of hookers.
And success
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
