i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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