Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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