I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
