it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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