what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
