Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
