Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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