I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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