But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
