I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
why does every cop we meet know your name?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
