I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
