I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
