I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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