i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
