69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
