just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
