what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
