Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
