i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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