remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
