she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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