I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
