I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
