he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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