I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
