Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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