Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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