But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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