omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
