Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
