I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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