lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
