Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
