I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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