He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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