Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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