The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
