We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
