he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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