omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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