And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
