Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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