I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I would ride that face into the sunset
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize