Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize