i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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